The Unseen POWER of Stylists - What Suicide PreventioN looks Like
*If you're struggling with a mental health crisis, text or call 988. It's free and anonymous.
Let’s be honest—suicide isn’t anyone’s favorite topic, especially in the hair and beauty industry. But it matters. My goal isn’t to overwhelm you but to show you how, in your everyday work, you already hold the tools to make a real difference in someone's life. By the end of this, I hope you’ll see that and realize how you can live a more meaningful life in the process. It sounds like a tall order, so let’s dive in.
Mt Struggle with Suicide
I’m Paule Patterson, founder of Stigma Marketing & Development, partnered with Fabrik Salon to help with their digital marketing and web presence. If you know Alex of The Nail Witchery, you also know the love of my life.
Stigma was built on the belief that we need to face stigmas head-on, not let them hold us back. Through my three years of sobriety, I’ve become a certified QPR suicide prevention trainer and have had the privilege of training hundreds of leaders across Montana. My experiences have shown me how connected mental health is to our every day relationships and how it affects our businesses.
I’ve struggled with my own mental health and have been on the edge of suicide—too close to not being able to write this today. Just over three years ago, I was put in St. Pat’s neurobehavioral unit. Now, I don’t struggle with thoughts of taking my life, but I do wrestle with wondering if life is worth it sometimes. That feeling is less intense every day, and it’s on the healthy side now, but it’s taken a lot of work to get here.
Where Suicide Begins
Similarly, suicide doesn’t happen in a single, isolated moment. It starts with small, unnoticeable thoughts—confusing narratives that build on each other over time. You lose sight of yourself, and the logic you rely on becomes dangerously flawed. Mountains are made of dust bunnies and doom feels comfortable. Unless you've been there, you don’t fully know what it’s like. Let me say that again: if you’ve never been on the edge of thinking about killing yourself, you do not know what it is like.
Montana has the second-highest suicide rate in the country. It's a problem. The crisis is particularly acute for certain groups. Veterans in Montana are at especially high risk, with rates more than double the national veteran average. Similarly, LGBTQ+ youth in Montana contemplate suicide at nearly three times the rate of their peers nationally. These numbers aren’t just statistics—they represent real people: our friends, neighbors, kids, spouses, and family members. They are also our clients.
But suicide isn’t the ultimate problem—it’s the misery people face while contemplating it. What we are really talking about is ourselves, humans, and the struggles we have with life. We can call this mental health but that makes some people uncomfortable. Suicide is the end result of a lot of hopelessness and insignificance. People don’t make that final decision impulsively; it’s the culmination of a long, painful journey through mental health struggles. When we think like that we are objectively alone and not worth it, suicide begins to show up.
The Role You Play as a Stylist
This is where you come in. Hair stylists and beauty professionals often joke about being “unpaid therapists,” but there’s truth to that. You spend significant, uninterrupted time with your clients—more than most professionals ever do. In suicide prevention, we call this being a “Gatekeeper.” Gatekeepers are professionals who regularly engage with others in meaningful ways, and their impact is profound. Studies show that trained Gatekeepers can reduce suicide completions by 20-30%. Out of 100 people, that’s 20-30 lives saved. Every life is worth it.
Other potential Gatekeepers include:
Budtenders (cannabis dispensary employees)
Healthcare Providers (nurses, general practitioners)
Teachers and School Counselors
Bartenders and Servers
Fitness Trainers
Religious Leaders (pastors, priests, rabbis)
Social Workers and Case Managers
All of these roles involve frequent contact with individuals who may be struggling in silence. Like you, they have the opportunity to spot warning signs and help intervene.
How to Notice and Help
So, how can you help?
First, care enough to notice the signs. Here’s what to look for in your clients or people in your life:
Warning Signs:
Joking or making casual comments about death or suicide
Talking in the past tense about their life or future
Giving away personal items or making unusual preparations
Sudden mood swings, personality changes, or withdrawal
Neglecting self-care or engaging in destructive habits
Past struggles with suicide
If you notice any of these signs, do not hesitate to ask. Even if it feels uncomfortable, asking could save a life. You can ask it in the most messed up way, but as long as you ask and make it clear that you value them and hope to see them again, that’s what counts.
However, if you want to do it better, here are 5 simple steps to rem:
Seek empathy: Start by being okay with the situation and trying to understand their pain instead of offering solutions or answers. You can ask them, "What do you think suicide will fix?"
Listen actively: Be curious and open. Repeat back to them what you hear. Summarize what they share and make sure you get the gist of it. Don't rush or jump to conclusions. Take your time.
ASK: Ask if they have a plan or intention to act on those feelings. Depending on the answer, you can scale it up or down, like, "Are you thinking about killing yourself?" or, "Have you been struggline with
Offer help: Depending on their response, offer to help them get the professional support they need, like reaching out to a counselor or hotline.
Follow up: Let them know you’ll check in later, and do so. Simple follow-ups can be a lifeline.
Human Connection in Mental Health
Think about what you want in your close relationships—with your friends and family—the people you love and who love you. The statistics suggest that out of all of them, there could easily be a few who have considered suicide recently. Do you know who they are? If you're one of them, do you have someone you can talk to?
All of this web material matters not because some guy is waving a banner about suicide prevention. Set that aside. Seriously. Now.
Dare to consider what our world would be like if you and I practiced these steps in every human relationship—as family, friends, bosses, employees, citizens, and neighbors. What would your world be like if everyone that matters actually lived in a way that the above Really think about it and wonder how things would change for 10 seconds.
You have amazing opportunities when you care for a client and engage with people regularly to show them that they authentically matter by authentically showing them they matter to you. That's it - the magic formula and secret sauce all in one snake oil. If you can do that one thing well and make a way habit of it, everything else in your life and business will change. People will be better for it.
Often, just knowing someone is there, listening, and caring, can be the lifeline a person needs to not feel so alone in their darkest hours. One simple interaction can be the difference between life and death for someone and, yes, you have that power. But you always have and will continue to. Don't resist it but embrace it.
You know that kind of love and authenticity we want from others? Be that for everyone, starting with yourself.
Conclusion
The impact of small, intentional human connections can’t be overstated. Whether it’s asking a tough question or simply showing kindness, these actions can help someone through their darkest moments. And this isn’t just about your clients—it’s about your loved ones, your community, and yourself.
Mental health affects us all. Let’s not shy away from these important conversations. By asking, noticing, and being present, we can help save lives.
If you want to dive deeper into this topic, I share more about men's mental health and Montana's suicide statistics over on my blog: https://stigmamarketing.com/leadership-and-organizational/mens-mental-health-a-personal-glimpse-into-montanas-suicide-statistics/.
Stigma Marketing & Development offers free certified suicide prevention training (in-person or remotely) for small teams and organizations. It’s a powerful, practical way to learn how to make a difference. Learn more here.
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